Ladies First

Did you know that you have to be extra nice to girls? Well you do. And I try to be my best self with them. We have one named Lundy who rides homes with us after school most days. She has a squeaky voice and is real cute. At first she wouldn't talk in the car because maybe she was scared. So Dean and I were real careful with her. Dean would pull her seatbelt out for her, gently pull it across her pink coat and I would take it from him and click it…nice and easy. She talks a lot now so maybe she's no longer worried that we might eat her. Dean is having trouble accepting another thing about girls. You're suppose to let them go first. We were in the car the other day and Dean was telling my mom that that wasn't fair. DEAN: "It's a stupid rule. Why do girls get to go first?" ME: "Dean, it's because girls are sucksy (sexy)." Thankfully, I get plenty of time alone to let my true inner madman shine.

Hello Again

It's been a long time! I'm in Kindergarten now. And I don't like it as much. They're very serious in there and it's mind bending for me. I keep telling my mom that I wish I knew everything in the world so that I wouldn't have to go to school anymore. I could stay home with my mom and help her all day long. I could run errands with her (and incessantly ask for things the entire time), keep her alert (crazy) with all of my "is-that-a-good-question" questions, and help her with house work by making sure there is always stuff to pick up. In fact I was doing a little market research the other day when I asked her if she likes to do housework. Here's how the conversation went: ME: "Mommy, do you like doing housework?" MOM: "Well, it depends. Sometimes I do and sometimes I don't. But either way, I always feel good when I'm done." ME: "You feel accomplished?" MOM: "Yes. That's exactly how I feel." And then she offered me a cup of coffee. Actually, she didn't. But she thought about it. OH!! Did I mention I am 6 now? Yes, I am!! And guess where I got to have my birthday party… the Winter Inn in Idaho. It was awesome! We had presents, pin the tail on the donkey, cake, and my cousin Kash! I was in heaven.

This is me and my rad new slippers. They fit me (in more ways that one) perfectly. I got to take them to share today and I told everyone that "this is what my feet look like under my socks." I'm not sure if I had any takers but I gave them a hard sell. Tomorrow I have my Christmas program for school and I'm really excited because I love to sing! But the downside is that it's going to be a really long time in the church. It's hard to keep the peace for 1.5 hours! Sometimes we have to stand for so long that my legs hurt. And we don't even get to play. But it will all be worth it because it'll be MY night. And God's.

My Christmas List

It's Christmas time!! Do you know what that means? It means that I get to write my Christmas wish list for Santa. I've been waiting all year for this. Do you know why? Because TV watching is torture (for my mom, dad, and me). There are so many cool toys that I see on TV. I want them all. And I tell my parents, "Hurry!! Hurry!! Look!!! I want this!!! Hurry!!" (Commercial ends. Nobody came to look.) "You messed it up!!! I wanted that!!" This has been happening since January. My time has come! Finally. Here's what's made my list so far. 1. A real-life dead tiger. 2. Pearls 3. A whole dead squirrel in a jar. 5. Lego City police set. 6. A remote control airplane. 7. Deoxys Ex with his coin (that's his power) Except for the dead tiger, most of this will probably change by tomorrow. So stay tuned.

Sharing Cookies

Trust me, I'll fill you in on this whole uniform thing later. But first things first. Today my mom came to pick me up at school and she saw something she considered a little unusual. She was holding my backpack and I asked her to pull out my lunchbox and give it to me. I sat on the ground with my friend, Avery, and opened it up. Inside were two uneaten (??) cookies. Cookies never go uneaten in my company. Ever. So my mom was a little confused. I opened up the baggie and, without any God's-watching-you-look from my mom, I offered one to Avery (I swear. Look in her hand.). You should know that standard sharing procedure with lunchbox contents is as follows: No Sharing. So I didn't even have to do it. I just did. My mom leaned down and told me that I was being a good friend...and then she asked me why I shared my cookies. I whispered in her ear, so NOBODY could hear, "We falled in love today. Don't tell Dean." So there you have it. I'm in love.

Mellow no more!!

Let me tell you, I went out with a bang in 2012. I had a fever and all sorts of other problems. No amount of han-i-tan-i-cizer would have helped me. Those germs were infinite strong. They even got my dad. My mom said that the only saving grace was that it made me meeeellllllooooowww. I fell asleep all over the house. But I'm BACK IN ACTION!!!

I even went skiing last weekend for the first time and I won!! The only thing that didn't work out was I didn't get to go to the "real Mt. Hood." I was expecting to go onto the top of that white mountain and we didn't! No fair.

It was all batman. All the time.

I use to be Batman's #1 fan. I wore a Batman shirt almost every single day. I played Batman at school (Keats was Robin). I watched Batman cartoons with gusto (picture a highly interactive spectator). And I would not leave my house without either a Batman cape or Batman action figure. Duh na na na na na na na... BATMAN!! Sadly, Ironman has bumped Batman from his pedestal.

It's just me and my mojo!

I am who I am. I just can't help it. Now get out of my way or I'll destroy you with my blaster!

Chilling Out

You might have heard that it got pretty cold and wet here about a month ago. Deano's friend told him that it was going to snow over the weekend. So on Saturday, we waited and waited... but no snow. My mom and dad felt bad for us, so we all got in the car and headed for the beach. You have to ride through the mountains to get to the beach! SNOW! There were cars all wiped across the road...but not ours! We played in the snow, AND at the beach all in one day! It was really cold and so cool!




I also should tell you about a recent success of mine. My mom had no choice but to take me into an antique store the other day. Before we went inside, she laid down the law: no climbing, no swinging, no poking, no dancing, no yelling. No fun. She warned me that if I did not mind my manners in the store, that she would take a picture of me being crazy and show it do my dad. NO!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well you would have thought I was a girl. I was sugar, and spice, and everything nice. And when we got outside, she took a picture of me being the perfect gentleman. FYI, she hasn't seen him since.

PLEASE AND THANK YOU!!!!

Now if you know anything about Buzz Lightyear, you'll understand why this was the perfect choice for my costume this year. As does Buzz, I take myself very seriously. Don't bother trying to convince me that I don't actually shoot lasers out of my finger tips when I'm battling Daddy. I have lasers and I can see them.

My manners were sort of yin and yang while trick-or-treating. In lieu of saying "trick-or-treat," I YELLED, "Please and thank you!!!!!!" (sort of aggressively) at every front door. And while I was showering them with kindness, I was taking fist-fulls of candy out of each bowl. Nobody noticed that until I started dragging my bag of candy on the ground behind me. Hey, there is always that guy at Halloween and it might as well be me.

It's MY turn!!

I finally get to take a swimming lesson all by myself! There I am just sitting on the ledge with my goggles half full of water (is that not how they're suppose to work?). Anyway, it only took one week for me to get the green light to move to the next level. It must be because I have no problem being completely submerged under the water. I take the same approach with swimming that I do with everything else in my life... Balls-to-the-wall, man. It's the only way to go.

I-D-H-H-O

Idaho, Idaho, GO GO GO!!!!!!


And the first thing I did was fall into the fire water pond at Warren. The paps tried to get a photo of me, but my personal assistant blocked the lens. That's why she gets the big bucks (or not).

Then I pooped in the hot tub. (Yes, it's been drained.)

On the upside... I got to see all of my grandparents in the same place, ride four wheelers, catch frogs, roast marshmallows, and visit with my great grandpa and big cousin Kash (he can do everything)!!!!





To cap it off, we took a ride on a pontoon boat! I drove a tiny bit. But mostly, I hid from the sun under a towel. I'm fair, you know!

The Dirty Work of Teeth Cleaning

You know that herding cats is hard, right? Cats are rookies. Try brushing my teeth. The only way I will sort of cooperate is if my dad holds an action figure who holds the tooth brush that brushes my teeth. If my teeth don't all rot and fall out, it will be a miracle.

Next Up...

Did you know that the word 'next' has many different applications? Here are my two latest creations:

1. Nexteen (It's a number somewhere after twelve and right before twenty. It usually signifies that I've lost my way.)

2. Nexterday (as in "I don't want to do that today. I'll do it nexterday." a.k.a. Talk to the hand.)

Time for a Nap, You Say?

To Infinity and Beyoooooond!!!!

I love love love By-Zear. (aka Buzz Lightyear.) Sometimes, when my mama puts me down for my nap, you can hear me on my monitor saying (over and over again) "Pete, do you copy me? Pete, do you copy me?!" OR "To Infinity and Beyond!" Lord help the fool who loses track of my Buzz Lightyear lego action figure. The world WILL stop on its axis until it is recovered.

So how do I look in Gamy's mask? Hot, right?

Merry Merry Quite Contrary

I had forgotten about this guy. I'm still not a fan!! I don't care how he rides or what he brings. He's sca-we! Take me off his lap before I jab his eyes out with Boba Fett. And I mean it!

Seasonal Word List:

t'mus: Christmas
t'mus whites: Christmas lights
t'mus tee: Christmas tree
cha-dit: chocolate
can cane: candy cane

Before I sign off, let's talk Chacabacca (a.k.a Chewbacca). This is me on Halloween all dressed up and smothered in cha-dit. Just like my brother did when he was two, I wanted to eat my candy at each door... but they wouldn't let me. I was suppose to put it in my tick-a-teet bag. Not my tummy. Lame.

Come play with me!

Hey there shadow!! Come pway on swides wiff me! Come on, shadow. Pease?

My shadow is quite a lovely discovery I've made. He's pretty tricky though. He can disappear out of thin air. Especially in the shade. I think he's scared of the dark.

What's the big deal?

My new controversial word? Fork! More like f%#k when it rolls off my tongue.

It irks me, though, because I never get one. I am only supplied with spoons. We will have just sat down for dinner and everyone (except for me) will pick up their forks to start eating. I don't care that I am better at shoveling my food into my mouth with a spoon. I want to be like Dean. And I let them know this loud and clear every night.

"I need a F%#K!!!" Sometimes I even say please.

Solution Oriented.

So the other morning my mama came to get me out of my crib and, as usual, I had my morning baba (yeah yeah yeah, I should have given up the bottle over a year ago... go ahead, talk to the hand). Anyway, I was sucking and sucking and pulling with my teeth... but nothing was coming out!!!! So I shoved it back into my mama's face and said (loudly of course), "Needs bah-wees!!!" (Needs batteries.)

In my world, batteries fix everything.